Wednesday, June 30, 2010


Postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome

This is what Dr. J thinks I have which would explain why I can't seem to stay hydrated, and need abnormal amounts of salt, the hypoglycemia I seem to be having, general fatigue and insomnia, and anxiety, concentration, and other issues. 

Treatment: more salt, exercise, and caffeine

Geez, everything I am already doing! I hope we can figure this out. I am getting annoyed by it.  But I am reading things about it being debilitating, and I am not debilitated, probably because of my lifestyle, but it is seeming to make my long runs difficult because one of the symptoms is that I don't do well at all in the heat right now. She took about 10 vials of blood today, but I guess I am increasing my daily salt intake even more. We will see if that helps. I need some help, so I can do the rest of my races this year without dying! 

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Can I do sub 28 at Watach?

I have been discouraged this year because I have had so many problems with heat, hydration, hyponatremia that it has slowed my speed down. However, at least I haven't had to drop like I did two races last year, because I am figuring some things out. So I am getting more serious with my dedication to heat and hill training now. Plus, I am doing personal training 2 times per week, and boxing.

My second issue, is I seem to be having strange blood sugar issues. I am seeing Dr. J tomorrow, and hoping she has some answers that will help me fix some of these things. But I am kind of hitting myself in the head today wondering if my years of disordered eating habits are just now showing up. I take pretty good care of myself, but it is frustrating when you have health issues you know you did to yourself, and you start blaming yourself for being such a nimkumpoop for so many years. I know I would never be as hard to anyone else because it is a lot more complex than that, but damn, I can honestly say I wish I had never gone there. I know there are a lot of reasons why it wasn't my fault that I ended up there, but it is still hard to not be hard on yourself.

All I can say, is I am glad I am not there now, and I hope I can figure this out, so that I can kill Wasatch. I would love to hit a sub 28 for my first 100, and actually make a time goal for once this year!

Saturday, June 26, 2010

WS100 New Record!!

Wow! Can I just say Wow! I really don't care about the world cup! (sorry soccer fans), but my eyes have been glued to the computer for the last few hours "watching" the progress on the Western States 100! Geoff Roes, once again, amazing slayer of CRs! He beat Scott Jurak's previous 2004 record by nearly 30 minutes, coming in at 15:07:04! And then Tony, holy shit! Only a few minutes behind Geoff, coming in at 15:13, still over 20 minutes under the old CR!

I am just continuing to be amazed by this guy, and I also have met him. He is a humble Alaska boy, that just came out of nowhere and started winning! I manned the aid station at the finish line at the Wasatch 100 last year. He took Karl's old CR by close to an hour, and then Karl also beat his old CR but came in 25 minutes after Geoff. That was the most amazing thing to see. An hour after Geoff finishes, his pacer stumbles in looking more beat up then Geoff.

Two weeks later, at the Bear 100, he sets the record for the new course. I DNF'd at mile 45 of Bear. This year I am running Wasatch, and if I can work my school stuff out Bear, but Bear I may have to drop if my course load and other things I have make it so missing my class is not an option. I will be sad, but I am at least doing Wasatch!

Congrates to Tracy Garneau 19:01 the female winner. After the website mistakenly had her as dropping the race she apparently did not and one! 5 more hours and this race is done. 

I also want to know what is up with Hal, he has dropped to 16th.

Exciting race!

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

A deviation- About me

What the hell, I stole this from Shelly, cause it was fun reading hers, I need a break from technical writing
1 My earliest memory is ...
I was at my Great-grandma's house in Park City. I remember all the ash-trays in her house she was a chain-smoker. I liked to play with the ashtrays. I remember her babysitting us, and she would always make peanut butter cookies because my dad loved her peanut butter cookies. Alice Mills was her name.

2 My school report usually said ...
I wanted my teachers to approve of me, but I went through phases. I always had mostly As until my last year of highschool, then I was in this shitty place with ED and had a therapist that should go to hell.

3 When I was a child I wanted to work for ...
I wanted to be an Air-force pilot

4 My worst job ever was ...
Working at the "Malt Shop" in Ephraim Utah. The owner was psycho!
5 My first romance ...
umm, I don't know. I had little romances growing up, but they never lasted long. I would say my husband is the person I really fell in love with. We are going on 14 years. We actually met 14 years ago on the 4th of July

6 My most treasured possession is ...
My kids

7 My mother always told me ...
"Never say never", " I will see you next year at 2 o'clock", "You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends, but you can't wipe your friends on the couch", " You can never get there, you will always be here",  yeah, now you wonder why I am strange! She can also belch the alphabet forward and backward in one breath/belch.

8 I've never been any good at ...
Focusing on just one thing

9 If my life were made into a movie I'd be played by ...
Helen Hunt

10 I wish I had ...
Speed, as in I could run faster

11 I wish I hadn't ...
lost so much time to letting other people control my life, and living in self-destructive behavior, life is a lot better when you love yourself!

12 My guiltiest pleasure is ...
I don't know, why should I feel guilty about it? If I want to do it, I do it, and I don't feel guilty. I am done with guilty!

13 My best trait is ...
I'm honest and direct, and a bit of a smart-ass

14 My worst trait is ...
I obsess about a lot of things

15 The book that changed my life was ...
"Born to Run" Chris McDougall

16 It's not fashionable but I love ...
going everywhere I can barefoot as much as possible, despite the fact that my feet, that were once pretty, are now pretty ugly because of all my running adventures

17 If I could live anywhere I'd choose ...
Escalante Utah, damn, I love the wilderness there!

18 I'm happiest when ...
am running in obscure places

19 My #1 all-time celebrity crush is ...
John Wayne, yeah I know, he is a dead fat man, but I just love old Westerns.

20 My #1 all-time favourite movie is ...
"Twister" with Helen Hunt...... my favorite line "Can I drive?" as they are fighting "No!", "Then would you!"  Or "Sense and Sensibility" - " If you can't say anything agreeable, you will kindly limit your remarks to the weather!"

21 I really dislike ...
bananas! Seriously, I hate it when people bring them to class, the smell gives me a panic attack and automatic gag response!

22 I often wonder ...
about a lot, that is the problem, I am interested in too many things

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Congratulations to Lisa Batchen-Smith 2500 miles in 62 days!

 A week of amazing athletes and courage from the Western Region!!/video/video.php?v=1508012141721

Congratulations to Lisa Smith-Batchen and Sister Mary on there last day for Running Hope Through America. They ran in her home state Teton Valley in Idaho 50 miles in their 50th state, in 62 days! The guys standing behind Lisa are my friends Jarom and Heath Thurston, two great guys who helped organized the run her in Utah when Lisa was here on June 7th. It was 2 days after Squaw Peak, my sister had had a baby that morning (I was her midwife), and I had a class, but I still managed to get to the park in time to run the last 4 miles with Lisa, and then I caught a ride with Jarom back down to Utah County because I had been too tired to drive up to class and Jeff had to bring me to school that day.

It was great to get to hear more of their journey as we took them to Dayne's house to clean up, and then drove them to the airport! What a neat couple of ladies! I feel blessed to have been able to catch that little end of the run with them! What an amazing accomplishment 2500 miles in 62 days!

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Court McGee, the next Ultimate Fighter Champion!!!! From Orem, Utah!!

Court "The Crusher" McGee, and Kris "The Savage" McKray!

We take this deviation from running to talk about UFC!!! The gym was buzzing all week, as Court made it past the semifinals to fight for a 6 figure contract in the UFC. Our very own Court from Orem Utah. Court cornered me in my first fight. He has overcome some significant challenges in life, and he is one of those people who is humble, but good at what he does and confident.

He trains at RIVEN , the Academy, where I train, and he teaches MMA classes. He is precise and has a strong wresting background. He had one controversial split decision loss, and thought his chance at a UFC contract was over, but then he came back, and dominated! His fight record 10-1 against Kris 6-0. Court dominated the first round by maneuvering himself for several take downs, and kept himself on top when they hit the ground. He obviously had the first round.

And then the second round, he had the same story, but with just over two minutes left, threw Kris against the cage, and won by submission! Total Crusher! Wow! The gym was roaring, and Court was in tears as he stated " I want to dedicate this fight to anyone who is struggling tonight!" And what an example, makes me want to get off my lazy ass and train! I mean really put everything into it, except I have to finish grad school. But wow! I am elated, and I didn't even fight! Go Court, you are the man!!!!

Read about Court, and his triumph over substance abuse :

Inspirational guy!!

And here is a write up of his win!

A night on the town

Tonight I went to a birthday party for a friend from SPEAK (students promoting eating disorder awareness and knowledge group at the U of U). I found it really funny that it was mostly made up of people recovering, recovered, or having something to do with eating disorders, probably most of us suffering from major anxiety issues, and the name of the joint "Fat's Bar and Grill".  Ok, it was a good place, and good food. But I am still laughing about it, laughing because I am having some major anxiety issues this week about some things, and I ended up there.

I am having some breathing problems when I run this week, and I hope I am not getting exercise induced asthma! I think it may be just still recovering from Squaw Peak, but damn, it is annoying! I have had it ever since Squaw Peak.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Salty Blood?

Or lack there of. I actually really like my dietitian ever since we got past the "Ultrarunning is normal" argument :) Or something like that. I like going in and talking about race nutrition, because it is helping me a lot. However, I am astounded at learning how much sodium my body requires especially when it is hot. I did about 1500mg in the hottest part of the day at Squaw Peak, and still managed to gain 9 lbs of water weight. Elena is telling me this is because I am still hyponatremic, and with the symptoms post race I was having she is right. They were much better than previous races, but I am looking having to increase my intake to 2000mg per hour in hot weather, and replace 2000-5000mg of sodium within an hour of the race, plus continue taking scaps at high amounts for 3 days post race, so that my body is not stressed out by lack of fluid. She is also requesting that I get an electrolyte panel after an event that I feel wiped out at. I am going in to see Dr. Joy in two weeks, I am learning a lot that I never knew about sports and nutrition, and that it really does impact performance!

Last year at Bear and Katcina Mosa, not only did I not intake enough water (probably half of my hourly needs because I believed misinformation that the body only can absorb 24oz per hour) I also was probably getting 1/4-1/3 of my hourly sodium needs. This almost landed me in the ER 3-4 hours after Bear, when I woke up so hyponatremic that I was panicky, dizzy, nauseated, disoriented, and delusional. My husband having me gulp down over 32 oz of Gatorade in one sitting is what helped.

I am learning a lot of vital information that can mean the difference between a good race, a finish, and a DNF, or even a medical emergency. It has been well worth investing into good nutritional counseling with someone who really knows what they are talking about!

What do I do besides run?

So Friday, I got together a bunch of my friends, and we did a Blessingway ceremony. What is a Blessingway? It is really a stolen Navajo tradition of the major diety, Changing Woman, who represents change and the ceremony is done to honor a families new hogan, a mother as she prepares for birth, or other major life changing events.

However, to not disrespect a culture that I do not have permission to practice their ceremonies, I will say that in the midwife tradition, a Blessingway is done to honor women. Many times we do it for new mothers, but in my little circle of friends we started doing it a few years ago and every once in a while revisit the ceremony to honor ourselves as woman, and the work that we do in promoting social justice and change. It actually started on my 30th birthday, when I held a burning for my eating disordered clothing and persona. After the burning, I held a Blessingway to honor the changing woman in myself and my friends.

So when my friend Becky opened her new birth center last month, Cheryl and I got the ball rolling for our new program, and various other friends of mine whom I saw as being in the role of Changing Woman at this time all came to my attention, I decided it was time for another Blessingway. It was good timing too. I had spent the week at a summer institute class on systems of sexual abuse. A very good class, that presented a balance look at offender and victim treatment, but also somewhat of a triggering class, that left me angry a couple of days, and I will admit struggling a bit with my own distorted thoughts. But I got through it. I was pissed on the way home Friday, the stupid downpour of rain combined with traffic made me late to get back to Utah county to pick up my friends who were coming up with me.

Cheryl, my friend Kat, and my new apprentice, Kendra, plus Kendra's 7 year old, Raven, and myself, all piled into my car, and we drove up to the birth center to meet Becky, Adriana, Marcie, and Marcie's daughter. We told our usual hilarious, and somewhat grusome birth stories, had some good laughs, and then had a good ceremony that I had written the day before while trying to tune out some of the stories that a therapist was telling of different offenders accounts. I have heard worse stories, but lets face it, abuse is just not fun to listen to , and I will listen to it if it is people i am working with, but I don't need to keep random stories in my head of bad things I don't need to hear more often then I already do.

We started by smudging the whole birthcenter with some white sage I had bought at the Native American Trading Post in West Valley the day before. Then we stated our intentions as we little red candles around the room. After stating and supporting our intentions we closed the circle, and then we wrote down what we wished to release in our lives and put the paper in the burning bowl. After that we bound our wrists with a red cord to honor our sisterhood, and remember to take our bond and empower other women through our work in our lives, and then we all shared beads we had brought to represent ourselves. We cut the cord, which then became the string to make bracelets with our shared beads, and went out and burned the contents of the burning bowl, which was actually a turtle shell because Becky's bowl had broken.

After the ceremony we had a feast, and talked and laughed and decorated ourselves with henna. The common theme I kept hearing was that we are all a few misfits who don't fit into the Utah culture, and it seemed that everyone really needed that community connection of unconditional acceptance and openmindedness to hear different beliefs and points of view in the world. I think it was a healing night for everyone, and I feel like it was great timing for me. I needed that connection.

I went outside to collect my turtle shell I had left out to cool down, and caught a guy throwing it in a trash can. I politely asked him why the hell he was moving my turtle shell, to which he replied he thought it was trash. I found out he was the building manager and he gave me a line about any fire at all being against building code, and a bunch of crap. (Like burning scraps of paper, in a turtle shell, in a downpour, on concrete is going to burn down a building? And what was he doing there at 10pm on a Friday?)

At any rate, I rescued my turtle shell, and we had a great night, and I was happy to connect with some friends I hadn't seen in a while who share common views in life, and to introduce some people to each other who had never met. It is great to have things like this to connect with other women, and what a great way to welcome the new center and wish success on it, and for the metaphor it offers to Changing life, and Changing Woman! We could all use a little Changing Woman.

I have had a lot of things going on, including having to change my practicum for next year, and now I am probably looking at holding all of our meetings for our new treatment groups in Salt Lake, which I am fine with. More the reason to give me hope that after graduation, I might have a reason to move outside of Utah County! I really would rather live in Salt Lake County.

I did a random thing last week, and decided I need to reign in my thoughts and anxiety issues, and connected with a therapist I haven't seen in like 14 years. I really am pretty much a stable person, but feel like i have to maintain my anxiety level, and having an outside person that I am doing nothing else with professionally, would be helpful. I specifically decided to start working with her again because I don't want to work with someone that has anything to do with EDs, I want to only work on meditative and mindfullness things that I know how to do, but it is easier to do when I am accountable to someone. So we will see how this goes. It is kind of a strange feeling actually, I was a way different person at 17-19 years of age. But I guess we will see how it goes. I am really pretty stable in life, but I have to keep my anxiety in check, or my thoughts get out of control.

Now I am off for the summer, and waiting on 2 more June babies, and then I am going to do a desert hike in July, pace/crew at Badwater, and get ready for some fall races. Wasatch 100, getting closer all the time!

Goodnight, I am turning into a pumpkin.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010


Wahoo! Just had to show off our new logo!

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Squaw Peak 50- 2010

   Well, that was probably the most interesting race I have ever had. I had debated back and forth whether or not to take the early start. If you are expected to finish the course in over 15 hours you have the option of starting the race 1 hour early to give you extra time to make the cut off at Little Valley by 2:30pm. Last year I started with everyone on time, and made the cutoff by 45minutes, my time after that was slower going up Windy Pass, and I ended up finishing in 16:12.
     I thought I would be much faster this year. I have been working on my core muscle strength and am a lot fast up the hills, however, the snow reports said there was quite a bit of snow, and I wasn’t sure how I would do on snow, so in the end I chose to take the 4am start just in case. I was a lot faster going up all the way to camel pass, and I was fairly quick going down to Hobble Creak, but once the sun came out it got hot very quickly, and I must have slowed down a lot. Many other people did as well; it was not a good day for the heat!
     I have been working with Elena to figure out some of my energy problems during race events, and the biggest thing we figured out is that I need a LOT of salt. The minimum amount I need when it is not hot is 750mg per hour, and if it is very hot 1500mg per hour is sometimes what I need. I have been getting hyponatremic and this messes with my carbohydrate absorption and dehydrates me, even when I am hydrating. In fact, I end up retaining a ton of water, and have breathing problems in some events as a result.
     So this time I was prepared to hydrate, fuel, and salt myself properly. I end up deciding to carry 72 oz of water on my back because I have such specific hydration and fueling needs, that in order to stay at an optimum performance level, I have to have all my stuff with me between aid stations.
    This worked well, and the only problems I had were the heat. I don’t handle heat well, and need to do more training in the heat! But because my electrolytes were OK, I handled the heat better than I have in the past, and I did have to stop a few times to sit in the shade and cool my body temperature down.
     I felt like I was moving pretty fast, and so I was disappointed when I got to the Sheep Creek aid station and discovered that even with starting an hour early, I was going to be racing the cut off! I had 1 hour to go 3.5 miles up Sheep Creek Canyon! It would be tough, but doable on a good day, but in that heat, it would be a push! But I did not want a DNF, so I pushed, and arrived at Little Valley at 2:29, one minute before the cut off! Once I hit the last downhill, I ran as hard as I could.  I checked into the aid station, checked out, and the walked up the trail for a few minutes to stop and recover.
    Quite a few others had done the same thing it was so hot, there were a lot of us pushing the cut off, and leaving the aid station and then recovering a bit up the trail. There is no final cut off, you just have to reach Little Valley by 2:30 and be out by 2:45.
    Pushing it in the heat wiped me out, and the last 16.4 miles of the course are not just a mere 16 miles! You have a 6-mile ascend, in the heat to the dreaded Bozung Hill, where you gain about 1500 ft in 1 mile. Most years we skirt around Windy Pass, but this year there was too much snow, which means you have to summit the mountain, and add about 1 mile to the course. I had to sit for a while and to recover, and then I was moving slow because I felt like I was going to fall asleep! I just needed to close my eyes. By that point, everyone else had passed me because I had taken so much time to recover, and the sweep came upon me. I explained I was taking a 5-10 minute nap and then I would move much faster.
    That was all I needed, I closed my eyes, and then five minutes later felt awake, and I started running uphill. I felt great, and thought I would be pushing to still hit under 15 hours, but could maybe get under the 16-hour mark. But as I started winding up the mountain I came across Marc Colman and John Wojciechowski, who were seriously dehydrated and hyponatremic. They were both looking really bad, and trying to help each other up the hill, and quite a sad site to see! I decided two guys who were puking every 10 feet taking care of each other didn’t seem like good idea, I was going to have to push hard at that point to make under 16 anyway, so I told Marc that I was just going to hang back and finish the course with them. This was about mile 35.
    Gave Marc one of my pulls, and tried to find some form of electrolyte he could keep down, and was glad I had over prepared for myself, and had a lo of stuff with me. At that point, the extra weight was with me. We slowly made our way toward the hill, stopping every few feet so that they could recover and not over do it. Once we hit the hill we had to stop more often, and it took us about 3 hours to get up that hill, with John throwing up right and left. I was seriously worried about him. But we tried to make the best of it with good conversation and joking, and by that point the sweeps had caught up with us, and all five off us slowly made our way to the aid station. We got into the aid station about 7:45 pm.
     After resting a little and getting some fluids, we decided to try to make it down as far as we could while it was still light. At that point, we weren’t dealing with the heat, and so Marc and John were able to move faster. We booked it down pretty quickly, and only needed our lights for about the last 2 miles from the parking lot. My legs and energy were great, but my feet were not! There had been a lot of mud from the melting snow, and my feet were wet most of the last half of the course. The top of Wind Pass is full of rocks, so between wet feet and rocks, I could tell I was developing some large blisters on the bottom of my feet.
    I was fine going down the trail except for some rocky patches, and then I was dealing with horrible pain on the bottom of my feet! But I suffered through it and ran down to the aid station, where Marc’s and John’s wives’ were very happy to see them, and Marcs wife took all of our gear so we wouldn’t have to carry it down the road the last 4 miles to the finish line. John looked like he was starting to feel worse again, and all of us were happy to be almost done!
     We left the Big Springs aid station about 20:20, and made it to the finish about 23:18. As we turned the corner to the finish chute, we lined up side by side, and ran the last 100 yards and crossed the finish line together. Finishing had been a group effort, and we had pushed each other through the end.
      Marc and John got some much-needed IVs, and I was tired at that point. I had been out on the trail for over 18 hours, and awake since 3 am that morning. I also had been with laboring clients half the week, and had not had a lot of sleep, so my body was ready to shot down at that point.
    The blisters on my feet were so big, I got sick to my stomach trying to walk on them, and so I had to ask some one to drive me around to my car. I got home, and my hips were sore from pushing down from Windy Pass, and I couldn’t bare to look at my feet! Ouch! I thought I would never walk again normally! But during the night my hip pain went away, and my blisters have shrunk in size enough that I can hobble around!
     That will probably go down as the most memorable Squaw Peak in my book, and I made some good friends in the process.
    I should mention that both Marc and John and experienced runners, and John has had 9 Wasatch 100 finishes. Bad days can happen to anyone, no matter how experienced you are. I wish them speedy recovery, and had a good time getting to know them better.