Today I decided, life is pretty amazing. It is amazing how the pain we experience in life, leads to healing of others' pain when it is similar to our own. When we heal from our own pain, it becomes a gift. We can not help but develop compassion and that compassion stands alone in healing others' pain.
That is my thought for today. Life is full of pain, I think that is why I like running, it teaches you to view pain differently. Before I started running ultras, I think I tried to avoid pain all the time. Not physical pain, but emotional pain. When you train for endurance, you have to face pain, and sometimes the deepest pains are the fears you hold of yourself. I do not believe it is the fear of failure that holds us back, but rather the fear of succeeding so much that we move up to a new level of understanding. An understanding that we do indeed co-create our own reality. We can not blame every life situation on our circumstances. Instead we acknowledge what has contributed, but also how we contribute to staying the same.
Yesterday as I was sitting through several counseling sessions, I realized how much of my ability to sit with others has been molded through developing an ultra running mind. Here are the common pitfalls I have had to undo.
" I am not good enough to succeed" can not co-exists with a successful finish
" I am bad" can not be together with the distance you are going
" I am lonely" does not resonate when you and only you can push yourself through
" I am sad" yes you may be, but sad will pass, along with tired, discomfort, and wanting to quit. Everyone wants to quit, but unless there is a real danger, quitting is not an option.
"I am a failure" there are no failures, just learning moments. We learn from every race, every moment.
You can not think negative of yourself and become a true ultrarunner. It will not work, even if you are successful in the short term, you will breakdown. Your body, mind and soul respond to the thoughts you feed it. Does this mean you are done with bad days, hard times, and shitty internal phrases? Probably not, but instead of locking them in, you ride them out, and know that they, like pain, will pass.
I created a play list today on this page. You will notice a wide range of emotional tones in the list. It is not consistent, some is happy, some is angst, some is sad, and all the way in between. This is a look into the human mind, my mind. Where I have been, where I am, where I am going. Sometimes I feel great, sometimes I don't, but giving up, quitting, and becoming a victim to my past is not an option. Don't make it an option for you either. I love my life, even on days that I don't.